Learning to walk the tightrope of motherhood...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Pockets and Pocketbooks

It's amazing how much your pockets, and your purse, can reveal about your life. For example, at 4:30 today, at the height of their usefulness, my jean pockets contained: my cell phone and jump drive, a jumbo paperclip, a confiscated paperclip, doctor's orders to get Mer's blood drawn, a post-it with directions and phone number for the hospital where we had to get the blood work done, a baby size hair elastic and hair bow, and a confiscated silly band from school. Not bad, huh?
I've been using my pockets for storage more lately as I'm finding myself torn between bags. Pre-baby I carried a purse and over-the-shoulder work bag every day and that worked well. Work and my personal life were separate, yet I didn't have to sacrifice any of the essentials. Now, with a diaper bag in the picture, the purse has been relegated to a back shelf for special occasions. Even so, it seems like carrying a diaper bag, work bag, and pump into school every day would be overkill, so I'm trying to just switch the essentials (phone and wallet) from diaper bag to work bag as necessary...and often they just wind up in my pockets instead.
I feel like the bag I carry says a lot about the role I'm playing in my life. For example, this weekend, I had the opportunity to be footloose and fancy free with a small black and white clutch a girl-friend gave me as a bridesmaid gift. I felt sophisticated, trendy, and feminine carrying it...a nice break!
With conferences and assessments demanding a lot of time from work over the past two weeks, my work bag has been a constant commuting companion...and my mind has been as weighed down with it as my shoulder has been.
My new favorite bag to carry, however, is my diaper bag. It is one thing, that in preparing for my baby, I picked out and bought with very little input from others. It is my first Vera Bradley and it is organized with lots of baby paraphernalia that leaves me feeling in control and actively involved in being a mother. I loved carrying it everywhere I went this summer...around campus on my morning walk, to the grocery store on the weekend, and to Target every chance I got. I got a feeling of super-mom power when I was able to get the bag, Mer's car-seat, and our dog Ruffy into the car in a single trip when it was time to go pick Greg up in the evenings.
Since I went back to work, there are many changes in our life, and many times when I feel like I'm not as much of a mother as I'd like. Now that most of our weekday trips are limited to to and from work, my diaper bag doesn't always even make it into the car...and, silly as it seems, sometimes I get a little sad thinking about all that simple decision seems to say.

No comments:

Post a Comment