It is TOO SOON to think about kindergarten...

So, I'm having an internal conflict about a student in my class. This child has been a slight challenge for the past week and a half, and it's not his fault. He has some special needs which are being addressed by an IEP right away and his mother is advocating for him to attend a special program in the district, which, I think, can meet his needs better than I can. But I struggle because I wonder if my daughter will be in his shoes in a few years.
One of our major wishes for Mer right now is to be included in traditional classes as much as possible. Of course, we have very little to base these wishes and hopes on, other than being fairly strong believers in the idea that EVERYONE in a class benefits from the diversity that public education offers. We have no idea what her academic and behavioral strengths will be...and so I need to keep that in mind before I borrow worry. But that's easier said than done...
IEP meetings these days fill me with questions, more personal than professional. I start thinking about Mer. I wonder if she will be able to keep up with her peers behaviorally, not to mention academically. I wonder what services she'll be eligible for. I wonder if we will be able to successfully advocate for an instructional assistant for her and if that would be enough of a support to make her successful in a traditional kindergarten placement.
I also wonder how much of a PITA (pain in the @$$) parent I'm about to become...
I already find myself speaking up more in meetings about students than I have in the past. I worry more about whether parents are understanding all of the information that is being shared with them and if they know what options might be available for their child. I imagine myself sitting in "that chair" at a meeting in the not too distant future, having professionals share their assessments of my child with me, sharing information I already am aware of, but that is still not easy to hear. I hear the "discussion" I fear we will have, pushing for my daughter to receive instruction in the classroom, with her peers, differentiated to meet her needs.
I know we will ask a lot her teachers and the staff at whatever school she may attend in the future. How do I ask this of them, though, when I don't know that I am equipped to handle the child that is in my class now?